


Broken

by Tien



Series: Moving Forward [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Slavery, M/M, sad!Stuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-28
Updated: 2012-01-28
Packaged: 2017-10-30 05:39:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/328332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tien/pseuds/Tien
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes you're too tired to fight.<br/>Sometimes you just don't want to.</p><p>This was a quick piece I did last night, It's about John buying a new troll companion after his dad dies.<br/></p>
            </blockquote>





	Broken

This troll, he's odd. No, odd's the wrong word.

Broken.

Yes. He's broken. His eyes are dull and stare blankly ahead. There's nothing about him that seems to recognize emotion. He looks up at you, silent, almost void of life. You see his eyes blink, once, twice, three times, before you stand up and turn to the man behind you. 

"This one."

"Are you sure, there are plenty of better trolls, I assure you. This one's slated for slaughter in a day. Here," he placed a hand on your back, "let me show you to some other trolls, I'm sure you'll find another." 

You disagree but follow him anyways. You pass by rows and rows of cages. Some are better kept then others, you notice the color swatches by each number, the nicer cages appear to belong to the purple or blue swatches. There are trolls of all ages and builds. Most walk up and greet you, saying brief things like "hello," or "hi mister." You nod and watch each one, seeing the life still flicker in their eyes. There's one section you pass by in a hurry, the trolls inside are disabled, there's a bull horned one in a chair, another is cackling crazily and scribbling on her walls with red chalk. "Sorry, these trolls don't meet the requirements for sale." The man hurries you along. You pass by faces that almost seem familiar to you, there's a girl troll with ram horns, and another has eight pupils. You stop and talk to this one.

"Why helloooooooo there, what brings you to my humble cage?" She flips her hair back and waits for your reply.

"I...I don't know. Sorry. You remind me of someone."

"Would you like this one Sir? I assure you she is smart and loyal. She would do well as a servant."

You shake your head and move on. You pass by another troll, who is scraping ferociously at her wall with claws, she glances up at you, her green eyes are vivid and clear, then goes back to work carving up her walls with hearts and spades. There's another green blood next to her, she is calm, collected, and glances up as you walk by. After viewing all the trolls that the place had to offer you your mind drifts back to that lonely soul in the dreary cage. The one scheduled to die in a few short hours.

"I...I still want that first one."

"But Sir-"

"Did you not hear me? I request the one I saw earlier." You started back the way you came. He was still sitting, curled up in a ball. Probably wondering why he was alive. 

"Congratulations, cur, you've been spared death." The man connects a chain to the worn out collar around his neck. "Say hi to your new master." The troll looks up at you, his eyes still reflecting nothing. "I said SAY HI TO YOUR MASTER!" He jerked the chain and pulled the troll forward. He kicked its side and it let out a pained whine and that's all. "Don't worry, he's trained, they're all trained." 

The troll looked up again, shaking and shivering, "H-Hello." He curls in and whimpers. 

The man laughed and tugged on the chain again, "That's the most he's said for a long time!" He pulls again forcing the troll to his knees then his feet. He stumbled forward past you and down the hall. You follow and enter a tiny room. The man lets the troll go and he hid in the corner, trying to make his body as small as possible.

There was a lady behind a desk opposite the troll. She motioned for you to sit down. "Now, you would like to purchase a troll, that is correct?" You nod and sit. "Number...612 is it?" The troll's ear perk at the mention of his tag, "I'll read you the brief history he has. His first owner reported amazing marks with him. Good behavior, nice, very obedient, they reported he was a fantastic troll. However, his second owners had a different story. He scored very, very low on all marks. We're not sure what went wrong between the two. Do you still want him?" You nod again. "Very well. You know the rules about owning a troll, correct? Good. Now sign here, lucky for you he's cheap, a hundred dollars is nothing for a troll of eighteen years of age. But I guess it's fair, it says here was scheduled to be destroyed tomorrow morning." She glanced over at him, "Well that's a little miracle for you." I need one more signature and the money and he's all yours." You sign one more time and hand over a few bills. "Congratulations, you are now the proud owner of troll 612. We hope you will come back to us if you need another troll."

You look over at your troll, his eyes sink back to the ground and he sighs. The chain is cold and heavy in your hand. "Come on," you say softly, he doesn't budge. "It's ok, come with me." You don't want to tug on him, but you pull slightly, "Come on, we're going home." He shrinks back.

"Do you need help with him Sir?"

"No, no I got it," you assure her. You speak softly and look him in the eyes, "You can come with me, it'll be ok." The troll looked up; he stared into your eyes. The troll looked so tired, so defeated, so broken, like each breath was a struggle. He sighed again and stood up, following silently behind you. He shrunk back when he past the man who had handled him before. You took notice of that and walked a bit faster, your new troll following behind you as quickly as he could. He trailed you wordlessly into the car and you drove home. 

It was weird; you thought to yourself, you've been on your own for little over a year since your dad died. You wonder why you decided to get a troll. Your family had never owned one before; you always thought it was sick and wrong. But when you look in the rearview mirror at the small figure in the back seat you feel a pang of feelings you've never felt before. You feel like you saved him, and you guess it's true, he would have died had you not chosen him. When you get down to it, the reason you were outside that shop in the first place was probably because you were lonely. Too many times you had walked into your apartment and been greeted by silence and darkness. 

You heard trolls make good companions. They are better than cats or dogs, they are intelligent and can speak, you've heard great things about them. This one seems shy, you don't blame him. You're a complete stranger to him, and suddenly he has to live with you, and do what you say. Though the thought of ordering him do anything sounds absurd to you, your stomach flips and ties itself into knots just thinking about trying to command anyone to do anything. You pull into your parking lot, slowly getting out and leading the troll up the stairs to the entrance of your apartment complex. He is cautious, so cautious. His eyes dart back and forth, he walks behind you whimpering a bit. You wonder if he knows speech much. You heard him say hello, but since then he hasn't said a word. 

You open the door and lead him inside. "Here we are," you flip on a light, "home. It's your home too." You shut the door and unhook the horrid chain from the collar. He stares at you, unsure what to do. You stare back, just as confused. You've read up on the rules for owning a troll, but other than that you have no idea what else to do. He shifts from one foot the other and looks around. The tags on his collar jingle, you grab one to read, he freezes. "It's ok," you say wondering if you've scared him. The first tag says 'Property of Prospit Troll Center: #612' the second is faded and looks well worn, that one reads, 'Karkat Vantas'. "Is that your name? Karkat?" 

The troll looks away, "Yes." 

"Well then Karkat, this is your home now too! Make yourself comfortable." 

He finds a blanket on the couch and looks at you, you tell him it's ok, he can use it, and grabs it wrapping it around himself and proceeds to find a corner and curl up. You leave him be and focus on dinner, but you have no clue what a troll even eats. Instead you make your way to the computer. After a few quick Google searches you decide that he can eat human food. He hasn't moved from the corner, he's still clutching the blanket and staring blankly at nothing. 

Cooking has always been something you enjoyed, you weren't good at baking, but anything else seemed to come naturally. You decided to make something with lots of vegetables and meat, and you made sure the spices weren't strong. After a while you notice Karkat watching you. You motion for him to come over and see what you're doing. He doesn't move. You go back to cooking. The next time you look behind you he's a bit closer, still wrapped in a blanket, but not hiding in the corner anymore. "Karkat you can come here, it's fine." He stares at you and shuffles a bit closer. The food is now done and you divide up the vegetable meat mix onto two plates. "Here," you set one down on the table, this is for you Karkat." 

He looks at the food, then at the table, then at you. He sits very nervously down on the chair, he's shaking slightly. The troll grips the fork and takes a few hesitant bites. You see a brief smile flash across his face and he eats more. You try to start a conversation, "So, uh, Karkat, you can talk right? Like the other trolls I saw?"

He looks up and swallows. "Yes."

"Oh, well how come you've been so quiet?"

"Trolls don't speak to their masters unless told to do so." He shoveled more food into his mouth. 

"Well, you can talk to me Karkat, it's ok."

"No. Trolls don't...you don't GET it do you?" He asked, suddenly his tone shifting.

"What? Karkat I,"

"We've been trained, I've been trained...we cannot go against that training. I can't." He pushed his plate away. "Thanks." He said flatly and returned to the corner where he stared at the wall. You did the dishes and walked into the living room. He lifted his head to watch you, but then put it back down on his knees. 

"I'm sorry Karkat, honestly, I didn't know about the rules."

"You. You are a stupid, arrogant, human. I bet you purchased me because you were fucking lonely or something." He froze and pressed himself against the wall. "I'm sorry. Shit, I'm sorry; I didn't mean to swear at you." He covered his head with his hands.

"No, you're right, Karkat, I was lonely. I know nothing about owning a troll, I was selfish. I'm not going to do anything to you, you spoke the truth."

"You should do something to me, you should beat me." He curled in on himself. "Why? Why did you buy me?" He whispered softly. 

You left your chair and knelt beside him. "What do you mean?"

"They were going to kill me, I was so close. So close to being free. And you ruined that. Now I get the pleasure of waking up day after day and realizing I have no future, but to be your pet. I hate you." He cringed again after speaking. "Sorry."

It's then you realize Karkat wanted to die. He wanted to be left in the dirty cell, he had given up on life, but that same hopelessness gave him hope. It was sad and twisted and so wrong. You lifted a hand to rub his back, he flinched and whimpered. You don't strike him, just rub. Suddenly he went ridged, and pale. He whimpered. "Karkat, are you ok?"

"Bathroom, where's your bathroom?"

"Down the hall, to the left." He bolted. You could hear the sounds of him throwing up. "Karkat are you ok?" You ran after him, finding him curled over the toilet, gripping both sides with his hands, knuckles pale. You ran by his side and placed another hand on his back. "Shit, Karkat, are you ok?" 

"D-Do I look ok?" he gasped and retched again. "F-fuck I knew eating was a bad idea." He was shaking again as the rest of his stomach emptied into the bowl. He leaned back against the wall, breathing hard. "Go on that stupid computer of yours and take some time to read about owning a troll. It will save us both some pain."

You nodded and left him the bathroom. After reading up on several pages you realize your mistake. Trolls at troll centers are fed a small diet of special pellets; they remind you of dog kibble. You're horrified at the other conditions you find that trolls live in. The food you fed Karkat was perfectly healthy, and trolls can eat it, however it's a shock to their system and usually causes pain. All things you would have realized if you had done your research before running off and purchasing him. He stumbles into the room, looking pale and sickly. He says nothing and collapses in the corner again pulling the blanket tightly around himself. You don't speak to him for the rest of the night. Eventually you throw another blanket over him and go to bed yourself. You can hear him get up and hurl several more times that night. You feel so bad, so guilty. "What have I gotten myself into? What have I done?"

Your name is John Egbert, and you just bought a troll. 

You have no idea where to go from here.

The next day you're relived to find he didn't die. He drinks lots of water and says nothing. You notice he's not wearing much for clothes, something that hadn't caught your attention before, because holy shit you own a troll now. He has a pair of tattered pants on and that's it. You should probably improve that part. You notice he's dirty and his hair is greasy. "I think we should get you cleaned up." He looks up at you, his tired eyes searching for a reason to leave his warm tangle of blankets. Eventually he rises and wanders into the bathroom shutting the door behind him. You hear the water turn on and in a few minutes he steps out with a towel around him. "Here, you can wear these," you had him an old shirt and pants. "I uh, read up on trolls, I suppose I should buy you some new stuff, and um, change you tag to my name, right?" he nods and sips the shirt over his head. Out of the corner of your eye you spot something, "Karkat, what's this?" You lift his shirt up revealing a scar in the shape of the cancer symbol.

"It's a brand. All trolls are branded with a unique symbol so they can be tracked." He replies moving back to his corner. 

"I uh, I'm sorry about last night." He snorts and rolls over facing the wall. "Listen, I'm going to try to do things right, ok? So, maybe you can help me out a bit, tell me what to buy. I'm learning, but I want to help you, not harm you."

He sighs and gets up. "Fine." 

You grab his arm and pull him to the door. He freezes when your hand rests on the knob. "What's wrong?" He motions to the chain on the wall. "Oh, that." You take it down and hook it on his collar, "This isn't right," you mutter.

"You wanted a troll." He reminds you.

Nodding you take the chain and lead him back to your car. Shopping is easy, you found out. Karkat doesn't care about clothing style at all. He picks a few black shirts and simple grey jeans and that's it. You buy him boxers anyways and move on to something else. He shows you what food won't hurt him and tells you how much to buy. You purchase a new tag for his collar, removing the #612 one and replacing it with "Property of John Egbert". He carries all the bags, not letting you near one of them. As you walk around the store you notice other trolls, they all seem to be doing the exact same thing Karkat was, only most had smiles on their faces, and none seemed as dead as yours. 

When you got home you immediately poured some of the strange food out for Karkat. It looked like dog kibble, it smelled like dog kibble and you were pretty sure it tasted like dog kibble too. Karkat took the bowl and retreaded to his corner. You told him you had a bed for him, but he informed you that trolls sleep on the floor. He ate quietly and proceeded to sit and watch you. You could hear the metal of his collar jingle when he moved, but that was the only sound he made. 

Eventually you go to bed again, still confused as to why you bought this troll. The next few days are tough; you don't know what to do. Karkat doesn't speak to you. He sits in his corner and awaits orders from you. You never issue any. He looks frustrated; you guess he has every right to be. You just cannot see him as a pet or a servant. Eventually he stops eating and stares at the wall. You try to convince to eat, but he's given up.

"There's no point." He says quietly. "My life means nothing. My owner won't use me, so I have nothing to live for. Why waste the food?" 

You sit back shocked. There's something deep inside you that will not allow you to order him to do anything. You can only sit back and watch him starve himself to death. Soon it becomes too much for you. He hasn't eaten in weeks. You're not even sure how he's alive. "Karkat," you say one day walking into the living room with food. "Eat. I command you to."

He looks up at you and the small bowl of food you leave by his side. For a moment he doesn't touch it, but after another command he does. Reluctantly he eats kibble after kibble. When you're satisfied you order him to sit by your side. He does so, sitting on the floor by the couch you're on. You run a hand through his hair and he leans into the touch. 

Your will has been defeated. You never wanted to treat him this way, but if you don't he'll die, and you don't want that. So you treat your troll just like a pet, just like he's been trained, like his brain has been programed for. He's one large intelligent pet. You order him to your side, then away, you feed him, and tell him he's a good boy. It hurts you, but you don't let him see. It's horrible, but the times you're telling him what to do are the times he has a small smile, the times his eyes show life. 

Karkat stops speaking. He communicates in small noises, growling, whimpering, clicking, almost mewling. It breaks your heart to see him like that. You've heard him talk, you've heard him express opinions and swear. You know that the thing licking your hand isn't Karkat Vantas. The thing that yelled at you and called you selfish was Karkat. You pull your hand back and mutter, "Stop that." He does. Instead he leans against your leg and nuzzles it.

The days go on, and you realize as you come home from work or school, that a part of you can't wait to see Karkat, but it's nothing like you once imagined. You wanted a friend, you wanted someone to keep you company. Now you have this troll, and a part of you loves the power you have over him. Giving orders and watching him respond is a daily task you no longer mind, it gives your life some sort of meaning, and at the same time, it gives his meaning too.

There's one night where he's curled on your lap, gently kneading your shoulder with trimmed claws that you whisper into his ear. "We're broken Karkat. Both of us. We're broken." 

He rests his forehead against your chest. 

"Broken," he repeats.


End file.
